Alive on the surface

there's something wrong inside of me-
a pit filled with tar and forgotten sorrows,
all ready to resurface and crumble my bones
like brittle sandcastles.
to say the truth,it does feel wrong-
the numbing pain that's haunting my cheeks,
the blue blood spread across my lips,
vengeful thoughts and ferocious tongue...
if only I could detach myself from the fall,
cut the poisonous roots,make this torture
worthwhile!
if only I could cry it out and let it go!
if only I could lose myself in another soul's
twisted mouth and plagued words!
it's like swallowing needles and getting the hiccups-
no way back,just a cut to release those metal doves
from the captivity of flesh and its lustful charms...
I'm wrong-from my purple toes to my eyes,
I'm wrong-wrong,my God,so wrong!