Itchy bones

my roots are on fire and I desire
to escape,to collapse,to relapse
into that state of being
with no name
and no melancholia...
itchy bones,
crawling skin,
bloody meat-
to S C R E A M from the top of my lungs
that I don't belong,
I don't belong here!
how I long to fall
into somebody else's arms
for once...
I keep clutching to these lies
day by day,
empty hour by hour,
if only to soothe a soul
sunk into perdition
and damned to love
a feeble monster...
lost space and void time-
blissful youth,how I misspend you!
Lucifer's crackling in the distance
and I'm too numb to prove him
wrong.