Disturbed desires

the world inside my head
is expanding like the desires
of a spoiled little child,
swallowing and hurting
reality's feeble seams-
why must I always turn random events
into apocalyptic scenarios?
why can't I enjoy myself
for one damn minute?
why do I let sorrow conquer bliss
and clouds to gather above me?
trembling flesh,crippled perspectives,
disturbed desires-
perfect combination of imperfections,
don't you reckon?
if only I could let go of myself,
of these devilish images that portray Paradise,
of that handsome poison...
it appears I lack conviction
and desirability-
how the seagulls mock me,
how this cold wind whirls...
sleepy,weary,drained,
this is how time flows
over again and again...
the world inside my head
is turning into a cluster of
mischievous nebulae...