Lace and stairs

sinful stairs,don't tempt me!
don't make these feet
intertwine
beyond the point of hope and grief!
I can't make angels
out of twigs,
nor can you turn time and distance
into pride...
I cry my soul to sleep
in broad daylight,
among strange faces and weary bodies-
not even lace can save me now,
no dream with bright blue
eyes...
I wonder if dogs can hear what I'm hearing,
this piercing scream in my ears,
all nameless,
all wild,
all mine...
I can't run anymore,but how I long
to hide!
more stairs,more lace,more question marks-
the shadow I've become has a shadow
of its own...
sapphirine stairs,don't mock me!
I feel so damn alone...