Falling into myself

It's the safest place around right now,demons and all.No more minds I can't permeate,no more signs I can't read.I know where my broken China lies within me and I can barely cope with that,let alone try and fix someone else's.It may be selfish,but it's sane and utterly necessary.

I'll clutch to the roots of beautiful memories and never look down at the abyss stretching beyond my soles.I'll read stories till my eyes get sore,so that the images oozing from the rotten side of my brain won't get to me.I'll ignore all attempts of external "tough love" and confide into the stars crowding behind my closed eyelids.
It's insane,I know,I know!But I need to fix my China.I need to understand what's wrong with me because this anonymous disease that's haunting my emotional insides can't get any further.I need to heal myself somehow.I have to become my own friend,priest,doctor,mother,lover,enemy and angel.
So I have to fall.To fall within myself and work my way up to the surface with a warmer smile and steadier feet.