"It's all about money,honey!"

I'm transforming into my mother.Well,at least in what concerns the self-sacrificing and putting the others first part.I still don't know how to manage my money,though.

I go from phases when I don't buy a thing for months to ones when I act as if I had unlimited funds.

The thing is that I would only work my ass off to "pay back my debts" towards my family and make them happy somehow.Because money is the root of a lot of problems around here,so cutting the source would eliminate the issue,right?I'm going to stick to that lie for now...

But if it were my way,I'd be by the seashore somewhere,living in a small cottage and making seashell necklaces.Ironically,even that sort of living would require some sort of income and I kind of want to cry right now.Oh,God...

To be completely honest,I've earned some cash in an "intellectual" manner along the way,which allowed me to buy things for myself and the ones that I love.Still,my relationship with currency remains at an "adore/loathe" level.Even so,it's never quite enough...

I really need to learn how to count my blessings and cherish them.