Future longing

It already pains me to think or try to imagine it,but I will miss beyond words all of this.The comfort,the security,the idea of being in a space that is more "me" than I am myself.
I will have to face people who know me only from a stolen glance of time,a far cry from those who have helped me grow from nothing to man.It's like a blanket of anxiety has clung to my shoulders in a moment of confusion,leaving me to stand among the ruins of a fallen pseudo-hero.
Should I break my ties or simply let the thread unwind some more kilometers?
It's hard living half-lives,with pieces of you scattered all over the place-who is to guarantee you'll ever find them again anymore?
Oh,why do I insist on spoiling my little crumb of happiness with things that might not even happen?For the future is tricky,you know-though it often overlaps with the present,there's a certain degree of chaos that might creep in at any point.Happy thoughts,happy thoughts,bucketloads of happy thoughts.
I'm still here.I still have time.I can't fully control tomorrow,so I settle for what's in front of me:a life I've always cherished somehow.I should leave this "future longing" to its rightful place.
Right now,all I have to do is breathe...