...that just crack me up!
"Never go to bed angry!
Stay awake and plot your revenge."
"Evolution created anchovies.
Man's ignorance put them on a pizza."
"I gave up drinking,smoking and sex.
It was the worst fifteen minutes of my life."
"Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken."
"A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory."
"Lord,if I can't be skinny,please let all my friends be fat!"
"FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except the one where you're naked in church."
"If ignorance is bliss,you must be orgasmic!"
"Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home."
"Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park."
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
"We are born naked,wet and hungry.
Then things get worse."
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