Books,feathers and fears

Sunday sucks.No,for real,it actually does.Even before my "end of the week commuting experience",it had always been something dreadful and freakishly annoying for some reason.Now,well,everything's being multiplied by ten.Dear God,I know it's technically the first day of the week and all that,but I can't conceal my true feelings towards it,especially when it comes to You!The rush and last minute preparations and false eagerness,all for fear of not missing that damn train!

"But,Adriana,why do you do it then?Why don't you just stay there and come home once every two or three weeks?"Uhm,no.And fuck you,anonymous and strange voice in my head.The thought of coming home is what actually keeps me going,don't you get it?Jesus Christ,I count the days...starting with Monday!I don't like my new lifestyle and that's that!There,I said it.Ugh!I'm so screwed...

So I resort to a trade: five for two.It's not fair,but what is in this world?Funny thing,though,is what I bring back to conceal my "free prison": posters,jewelry,pictures,quotes,bits and pieces from the past to make the present more bearable.Silly,isn't it?Silly and emotionally necessary.

I don't know,I've grown colder and quieter.Books don't give off the same passionate perfume,while my brain refuses to find comfort in imagination.It's amazing how lonely one can feel at the end of the day in a city full of life and people.

Watching pigeons fly and my own feathery earring twirling in the wind raises a question: is it better to be earthbound or addicted to the sky?Heaven knows and Hell forbids knowing.

I wish I could cry right now,let it all out.But no.I'm rotting on the inside,you can tell.

Alas!I am dead.