Blue sparrow

I'm reluctant to leave my bed early in the morning,even when my night is a lingering memory of nightmares.
I'm happy with a cup of coffee in my hands and with the thought of home in my mind.
I'm uneasy when confronted with a crowd.
I'm momentarily proud of myself when I face my fears,imaginary or not.
I'm jealous of the people who are better than me,even though I know with all my heart that I shouldn't be.
I'm angry with myself when I can't move or speak or change my future.
I'm appalled when man acts more like an animal and less like a rational being.
I'm emotionally drained by overflowing words,jungle-like movements and vapid thoughts.
I'm incapable of properly flirting.
I'm relieved when I get to see a nice sunset,to buy train tickets,to feel pretty on the subway.
I'm wasting time each time I have too much free time on my hands.
I'm in love with a blue sparrow hanging from my neck,close to my heart,bearing the presence of a loved one.
I'm laughing with my roommate at cat videos on YouTube and it's lovely.
I'm ready to believe again.