I keep telling myself that "I'm not a grade",yet I relish every ounce of feeble "victory".They keep saying I'm worth something,yet all I can see is a hollow cluster of numbers that reflects a hollow brain.I don't know how to react anymore: should I be proud?Should I keep quiet?What should I do?Honestly,this feels like dust in my mouth more than it does sugar...My "responsibilities" towards others seem to have prevailed over those towards myself-consequently,I'm smart without being smart and on the verge of falling when everybody knows I'll stand tall.I can't fall because it's not an option,though it's always an option...I can feel myself sounding bratty,even superficial,but I can admit my reasons are more practical than they are spiritual.And that pains me more than I could ever put into words...Alas,that's life for you!And me.And us.My soul remains a parasite,though it really shouldn't be so.Maybe the happiness I bring to them will someday become my own.
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