No use for the hopeless

I'm not fun to be around these days.Not like I can help it,you know,but I see how I'm hurting others by hurting myself and that just adds another rotten cherry on top.

On the one side,I want to feel better,move on,make some sense of this fucked up life that I'm living.On the other,I crave to fall into oblivion,forget myself,quit everything.But no,things can't ever be that simple-there are people who love you no matter how bruised and damaged you are.So,it becomes your duty to put them first and at least try.

I've grown to understand the reality of alcoholism,of suicide,of depression and what they truly mean and why somebody would resort to them.There's no shame in wanting to somehow fix what's broken,no blame in wanting to escape.I understand-though I wish with all my heart that I didn't...

I'm useless and I'm hopeless and I'm never going to be the same again.Never again.Never again...