Honest to God,is this who I am now?A stooping,tired,scared little piece of flesh?Seriously?!I'd say it's preposterous,but then I'd be kidding myself.I never was one to willingly admit I can't do or don't know something...
But reality is harsh and I must come to terms with the fact that I'm living in a world which demands some sort of "superhuman",while all I'm able to offer is a little more than a child.
It's frustrating to have to comply:"I don't want to be here,learning this or doing that!I'd rather be on the Moon or in my dreams or reading a book I'll never be able to write,jut not this!".You'd be surprised how much this thought has insisted on playing in my head on repeat for some time now...
To be honest,all the worrying about nonsense is merely lost energy and I realize that,but some sort of old fixation keeps dragging me into a spiral I so wish to break.
There must be a way of living your life without (occasionally) wanting to die...How do I look for it from behind a barricade of books?How do I remember to live for now when I'm constantly being pulled between the past and the future?
Maybe going home will clear my head a little.Because,at this moment,I feel like the things I go through aren't worth a single dime...
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