Afraid

I'm always afraid: of having nightmares,of waking up to this,of crossing the street...I'm afraid of the people I meet,of the way I'm seen as,of not being enough.Hell,I'm even afraid of myself!It's just a crippling feeling that grabs a hold of you and never lets go.A true parasite,one might say.

Today was one of those days,when I could just sense that second shadow gripping tighter and screaming louder.

I'm tired.I'm tired of this suffocating smoke,of this burning and choking classroom,of being the wounded bitch that I've become.I'm tired of running,of wasting my life in this goddamn train,of slowly dying with no intent of living whatsoever.But,most of all,I'm tired of being right about the bad things.

This cement is cold and my hand comforts what my mind has yet to process.

I'm done.I'm done with believing,with hoping,with trusting.I'm done.