Today,God was a stranger.A friend.Somebody I could talk to without feeling secretly judged.The perfect white canvas for all my schizophrenic demons to paint on.
I just let it overwhelm me:the hate,the wrath,the scorching pain,the insanity,the void,the insecurity,every drop of poison I keep locked inside.That laugh...That frightening and demented laugh which surfaces when tears don't do the job properly...That's a one-way ticket to a nuthouse!
So,I simply wrote God a letter.No blaming,no praying for mercy,no nothing.I had a one-sided conversation not with my ego,but with everything and nothing at the same time.It was liberating,frustrating,cataclysmic.I died and I resurrected in only one night.
In an immaculate envelope-there it lies now.My soul delivered through dark blue letters of confusion and peace."To God"-it says."Epiphany"-it means.
I think...I think the hardest part is when you judge yourself more than others do.I do.