sâmbătă, 27 aprilie 2013

Filling the void

I don't cope well with loss.
Well,I don't cope at all,actually.It doesn't seem real and I don't want it to.I'd rather convince myself that it's a nightmare from which I'm bound to wake up "any minute now" rather than wrap my head around the fact that...That it fucking hurts,that I want to drink till I'm numb,that I'd rather be anyone but myself now.
Writing is good-that is,when you can see.
I try avoiding people.People are draining and needy and too much like myself to be emotionally useful.
Coffee helps-it calms down that nauseating taste at the back of your throat.Then again,by the fourth cup,one starts to wonder if it isn't actually the other way round...
Funnily enough,it's easier to live another's drama-even when that someone is not someone at all.
Truth be told,nothing can be funny right now,considering I feel the strongest urge to bash my head against a wall,but yeah.We do all that we can.
I,on the other hand,fail miserably and pray I don't wake up in the morning.

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