luni, 23 decembrie 2013

Lack of spirit

You know what I hate most about the holidays?The fact that we just can't get along as a family.
Every single year there has got to be some sort of problem or fight or both.I'd hate to say the word "curse",but I can't seem to find a better substitute.And it sucks to think that you'll never get a glimpse of Christmas spent as they show it in coffee commercials or whatnot.
I don't want perfection,far from me such an impossible goal-I just want us to get along,to be somehow happy,I don't know,not fuck up another chance of being together.I'm tired of feeling like I'm walking on glass ,that I should always calculate what I'm about to say,that we're a time-bomb on the verge of exploding.
Christmas isn't what it used to be anymore,I understand it all too well.But I can't become a child any more than they can,so we'll have to make do with the present.
I don't care about gifts,about oranges or about a tree,I care about us first and foremost.Well,I care a little about the oranges though...
If,at some sort of spiritual/alien/parallel universe level,Santa is real,then all I want from him this year is balance,understanding,a family as should be.

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