joi, 10 octombrie 2013

I wish I had the guts

I wish I had the guts to stop being afraid of every petty thing I encounter.To just breathe and become.To punch all my nefarious demons square in the jaw.Some people are born this way:untamed,raw,ready to face the world with a smirk on their face every single day.Me?I usually hide under imaginary rocks and disgustingly sweet smiles.To be fair,there are days when I don't feel alive at all,just stuck in a loop where I age without even having memorable events brought upon by own will to think about.Hell,even the blood in my veins must have gone stale.
I wish I had the guts to kiss the boy I like and then tell him my name.To leave him wondering and just walk away.To stop waiting for a savior that dwells solely in my mind.It's tragically pathetic that we depend on another to be "happy",if you ask me.Why can't I be enough for myself?Why do I have to earn my share of love on this earth?Why can't I be meaningful and content by myself?This makes me mad and sad and sore around my lips.
I wish I had the guts to say "no".To refuse much too demanding tasks,clingy friends,false echoes of greatness.I'm a damn sucker for acceptance and still unwilling to break my facade.
But I don't even have the guts to say the things I write out loud.

2 comentarii:

Elena E spunea...

But those people weren't born like that, they were created by unseemly events or people...
You don't need to be rebellious nor evil to be brave and untamed. There's always balance.

Adriana spunea...

Yeah,it's what you take from different situations:they took bravery,I took fear and silence.In my case,"balance" becomes all too often "numbness".