miercuri, 30 octombrie 2013

What now?

Words have been said,faces unwritten,books acquired and stories hastily put together.What now?
I think I might have forgotten how to be a friend,let alone a "good" one.I'm ridiculously tired and antisocial and pouring my soul into a cause I don't believe in.I'm a living and breathing paradox.I'm in hate with myself and the mere thought of somebody (other than my family) genuinely caring for me brings this being in front of you to salty tears and shaking limbs.
As peculiar as it may seem,I have temporarily misplaced my "how to human" handbook.So,how do I interact with my friends now?
A deeply uninteresting life doesn't help and all those stated above aren't what I would call "golden stars" on the scale of interpersonal relationships.
My awkwardness has surely been taken as irritation,I can feel it in my crawling skin.Upsetting anyone is the very last thing on my list,but there are some situations even I can't fake myself out of.
For my sake and that of others,I should just go live in a cave and be done with it all...
I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'm sorry.Towards you,towards myself,towards everything.What a day,God,what a day!
I'm surprised I can stand myself,to be honest.Well,I kind of don't,but that's another heartache altogether.
I screwed up without actually screwing up.What now?

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