I can feel this bloody disease in my mouth: it's moldy and expanding,a khaki odor clinging to my tongue with restless fervor.My sleep is like a lucid nightmare and my body seems like a stranger's.
I cried for other people's aches and loses,letting my tears melt into a fever which made pain exponentially more acute.To be fair,it's hard to sing the spirit with your shattered organism constantly reminding you how very breakable you actually are.
I mean,who on earth starts crying into their food because they can't finish it?Apparently,I do.I began to bawl into my plate tonight,with a stomach alike a raging volcano and mother's hand blending my tears into a rising fever.It's like remembering every single damn thing that ever caused you pain and letting it explode into a nauseating meltdown.
The fact that I depend so much on a bunch of meat to even function scares me out of my wits sometimes.Even so,I let myself fall and break and shatter,this was the only way to rebuild my mosaic.
Fortunately,quality TV,playful kittens and the company of my very concerned family made me forget this state of being and enjoy a pleasant Saturday night in.
Maybe this time around I'll sleep more and suffer less.