duminică, 10 noiembrie 2013

Mean daughter

I sometimes don't get along with my mother that well.What a shocker,right?I don't want it to be this way,but my nerves just crack under the weight of so many petty things that I can take it no more.
She cares about me,I'm certain of that,but she doesn't always know how to show it.Neither do I,for that matter.But,when I can't say something nice,I don't say anything at all.Which isn't her constant way of acting...
I can be very mean if I want to.Downright bitchy,to be fair.And it seems I have to act like this from time to time so that people understand I'm a person,not a doormat.
Why am I always the one that's exaggerating?Why can't she be on my side for once?Why do we always argue about money?Why is she allowed to scream and I'm not?Why do we get along better on the fucking phone than face to face?I swear to God...
There are days when I just want to sleep and forget everything.Thinking makes it worse,that's the general rule.
I've become mean and I plan on staying so until she understands.Until you understand.I can't keep on forgiving everybody but myself,I simply cannot.
I didn't say "goodbye".I didn't talk.I didn't say "thank you".It's more toxic than poison and it actually hurts,but it must be done.
It's better than a message in blood.

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