A lack of certain information is like nightmare fuel for me.
For example,my brother is currently at a sports camp in the middle of fuck knows where in the mountains,his phone is basically useless and my pulse is skyrocketing as we speak.I mean,I'm glad nobody can see into my brain because it's an ugly place to be right now!
The best thing you could do in life is to "think happy thoughts"-yeah,I don't function like that,though I really wish I did...
I am,for lack of a better phrasing,freaking out.
The scenarios in my head grow darker and scarier by the hour and I mask panic with indifference.I feel like my family believes I couldn't care less about my brother-truth of the matter is I feel my affection as being so rooted and intrinsic that a "pompous" display of such would be tacky and degrading.Therefore,I'm left here emotionally paralyzed,while he's probably having fun-as he should be.
But,as night draws in,I'm left alone with my stupid imagination and...it isn't pretty.I can assure you of that.