sâmbătă, 31 august 2013

"When summer's gone..."

"...where will we be?"

It's official: this is the last day of summer.Consequently,I should go back in order for me to move forward...

JUNE.Extremely disturbing month.An endless array of silly exams,silly chores and silly concerns.Luggage that broke my palms.Cat problems and so many gloomy days."Success" and disappointment all mixed into one.Sweaty back and growing curls.Way too many train rides for my personal comfort.Meaningless stress.The constant itch to do anything but study.The promise of a more self-centered future.Random cockroaches,plates housing dead cigarettes,soothing music.A vow to never be a martyr again.A time when "goodbye" meant going home.Sleepless,but not fun,summer nights.Insecurity.

JULY.A very well deserved bottle of white wine.Buying colorful things to mend my soul.Covered in white paint in the middle of a white room.Three friends,two small kittens,one growing nightmare to last me the whole month.Meeting old colleagues and realizing I haven't done enough.Learning how to cook and how to cope with my loud mind.A wave of heat designed by Satan himself to make our hope wither.Nameless stories to make the heart run faster.Drained "people skills".Growing scared.Family drama.Music,movies,shows-the recipe for numbness.Awaiting and dreading change.

AUGUST.Submerged in a sea of melting days and haunted nights.A trip to the sea which willingly doesn't include me.One blue and sleepless night.Weird visions of myself and the world around me.Confiding in the endless sky.Sore muscles,perpetual misunderstandings,long and silent week.Auburn hair.Almond candy.Noisy tears.Small bursts of lucidity in a vortex of emotional shadows.Getting fatter,but not necessarily happier,by the day.Blood I can no longer heal.Fear,fear,fear.Stumbling among unanswered questions.Seclusion as a solution.Friends I don't deserve.Cats,apples,tons of coffee.The realization that growing doesn't always mean growing up.

Well,I guess I'm here now.Let a new season come.

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