duminică, 29 septembrie 2013

"I don't wanna go"

Back to college,back to a room too small for two,back to a life which I had forgotten could be so peculiar and draining.
Today began early and with a lot of rain on its shoulders-maybe those were the tears I couldn't shed myself on some sort of cosmic level.
It's hard to say "goodbye",even when you're not really that far away and it's only for a short while-but who knows what will happen next?Who knows,indeed.
We dressed the walls in white,we greeted the friendly cockroaches,we remained behind two cars which left.Then we put our things where they needed to be and pretended this life was simple and normal.Good God,my mattress has springs forged by the Devil himself!
My body is a failing wreck,but my mind is the real enemy right now,with tempting sunsets and cruel whispers of "Let's go back!Let's go back now!".I really don't know how I managed everything last year-this is my first day and I can just see the shape of my skull carved into a wall.
My drug is my home and the lack of it pains me physically.I'm a big baby,I know,but is it honestly that bad to want to be somewhere where you feel safe and content?I don't dare say happy-I don't even dare.
I already miss my family,my cats,my bed-this is going to be either an ache filled year or a reason to make a change for myself.

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