miercuri, 4 septembrie 2013

The dark side of the sun

The more time I spend outside,the more I feel smothered by this room's walls when night falls.
I fear darkness.I fear nightmares.I fear death with a crippling grip that haunts my entire body.I am dominated by a feeling of uncertainty and terror to such a degree that I might as well call it "paranoia".
Daylight is like a warm caress,while its absence becomes a sharp claw I cannot avoid.
Why do I craft my own nasty dreams?Why do I always put the Devil in front of me?Why don't I just...let go?
It's the loneliness,those few hours when I'm the only one still awake in the whole house,when the voices inside my skull get louder and paint pictures I wish I did not have the mental eyes to see.
Oh,if only my prayers would be less sinister and I could fall asleep instantly!
Change frightens me because I sometimes can't control it and that's when it seems as if I'm being bled dry by an unstoppable force.
Yes,I cling to the sun so I don't have to face the moon.No,I'm not ready for this life at all.Maybe I'll become fearless once day.I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

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