joi, 30 ianuarie 2014

"Do me a favor"

"...perhaps 'fuck off!' might be too kind"

Dear Universe,fuck you.Like really,really,really screw you.You suck so hard right now,it literally pains me-literally.And I don't care what deity or higher force hears me-let them know because I can't keep it all in anymore.
I do not know how to phrase my emotional state so that it doesn't come off as...pathetic?Dramatic?Childish?Maybe all of them mixed into one.
My parents would not understand (trust me,I know),my friends would pity me and I don't have the energy to go looking for a kind stranger.So I do the next "best thing": I let it all build up inside of me.Yep,heaps upon heaps of anxiety,tears,pain (whichever kind you like),fear and acute longing,nicely sealed with a silence that'll give me a bloody lip these days.Honestly,if I weren't me,I'd consider myself one step closer to insanity right now.
And what's killing me the most is that I do not have the ability to put my inside life into coherent verbal structures.There's no 1:1 correspondence,so I'm left with shaky hands and damp eyes because hey!,maybe I am actually crazy!
So,yeah-Universe,thanks a lot!Today was a blast!As peachy and fun as a broken nose...

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