I don't like this anymore,I really don't.It feels as if a part of me is being torn and left to wither in no man's land each time I have to comply to an unholy routine.I guess the curse of wanting to leave my "goddamn town" is taking its toll on me...
I'm scared.Of failing,of leaving,of everything in between.No amount of effort seems to suffice,no advice can put me on the right track mentally.Guys,it's official:I'm going through that phase again!Bear with me.
The thing is,I don't let my emotions run free in front of the others.No,sir,I keep them all bottled up inside,a tempest in a teacup.Why?Because it's not a pre-exam Monday night if I don't feel like E.T.'s ripping through my stomach or my heart's going to burst out of my chest.And it's not that I want to feel like this,more so when faced with situations where I need to be "focused" and "well-rested" and all that crap.Daddy's right,I should take up yoga.Or weed.Or both.
My theory is that,one day,I'm going to just spontaneously combust and fly off into the Milky Way.Just like that.No warning,no nothing-just pfuuuuu! and away we go!Less "Tangled" and more failed "Apollo",let's say...
Maybe time and sleep will fix me.Maybe not.
"So we beat on,boats against the current/Borne back ceaselessly into the past"-right now,this phrase and I are but one.
"So we beat on,boats against the current/Borne back ceaselessly into the past"-right now,this phrase and I are but one.
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