marți, 29 ianuarie 2013

Unable to cope

I am a horrible human being.No more,no less.It's been proven to me today in a way in which I'm not yet able to fully grasp.
First of all,I don't know how to cope with people crying.Just...Do I give you a hug?A pat on the back?A sedative?!Or do I just leave you there to "spill" it all out,if only not to make matters worse?Do I use and optimistic approach or does it transform me into a rainbow-pucking asshole?Do I go all hardcore and get upset because I have a bloody exam tomorrow and you're not helping me study at all?And do I pretend I'm not happy for my results only to not add fuel to the fire,though God knows I'm clinging to every shred of hope I can find in this barren land we call "college"?!Look at all these questions,look at them!How do I even...anything anymore?
Secondly,my energy levels are at an all time low and I'm already thinking about going home.Unfortunately for me,both circumstances are out of the question.Which leads us to my current "I'm-going-to-jump-off-a-cliff-into-nothingness" state of mind.Coffee and happy thoughts,start doing your thing already!
Thirdly,my imagination is taking over reality.Seriously,it's becoming troublesome and wickedly nice to have a refuge,even if it's one made out of thin air and impossibilities-it keeps me (mildly) sane.On the other hand,it could also drive me mad.Time will tell...
I'm a terrible human being because,right now,I'm the one in need of a real hug.

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